This week for my moment in time writing I did it about going on the roller
coaster at Rainbows End.Moment in time is when you focus on one part of
the story.I chose the roller coaster part because it was lots of fun!To do this
frist I had to plan then write one copy then mark my goals and last I had to
write this!I hope you like this.
I like the way that you put in a pretty rainbow background, I would amazed if you made that yourself!
ReplyDeletePossibly next time you could try to make your writing the same colour or maybe darker colours because I found it a bit challenging to read on the yellow lines.
Great Job!!!
Hi Hazel
DeleteI am pretty sure that Maddy made it herself well I know she did because I helped her.
Hi Madeline, I like all of your active words, maybe do some more “show not tell”?
ReplyDeletehi madeline I loved how you used lots of descriptive words mabye next time you could not make the words in rambow because it mkes it hard to read.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGood work Madeline i liked you descriptive word.
ReplyDeleteHi Maddy,
ReplyDeleteExcellent job! on your story I really enjoyed the beautiful rainbow background.This reminded me of my birthday when I went on the roller coaster at first i was so scared but then I really enjoyed it.Maybe you could change the colour of the writing because it was a little hard to read with the yellow.Apart from that I loved this piece of work.